Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one, which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief, but any loss can cause grief, including:
Divorce or relationship breakup
Loss of financial stability
Loss of a cherished dream
A loved one’s serious illness
Selling the family home
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss, and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.
Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing.
Grieving is a highly individual experience; there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you.
Inevitably, the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried, and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.
How to deal with the grieving process
While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and eventually, find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.
- Acknowledge your pain.
- Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
- Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
- Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
- Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
- Recognize the difference between grief and depression.
- Reach out for professional help if needed.
Remember, no one should expect you to be “over” it, or to “snap out” of grief. There is no specific time frame for grief, and it is individual and unique to the person experiencing it. Your feelings may be unpredictable, and that is to be expected at a time of great loss.
As you experience the range of emotions that come with grief, be patient with yourself. You may have times in which you wonder if you will ever feel fine again. Sit with those moments and trust yourself to heal. It will happen, and it takes time. Be gentle with yourself.
Listen to what your mind, body and spirit are asking for and honor your needs, just as you would honor the needs of your loved one who has passed. Often we hold ourselves to a different standard than we do others. Ask yourself how you would treat a friend who was grieving and give yourself the same kind of compassion and love.
Sometimes when grief is overwhelming, it can be difficult to ask for help, but remember that people aren’t mind readers. The best way you can get help and support is to let others know you are struggling. Grief doesn’t have to be compounded by loneliness. Support is available and accessible if you can take that first step of reaching out
If you are looking for someone to talk too, bookings can be made under services/counselling on the home page.